Top 10 reasons to run along the sequia.

So for those of you not lucky enough to live in a dehydrated desert that is being planted, irrigated, and fertilized into a not very productive agricultural area, I will begin by explaining a sequia. Sequias are essentially irrigation ditches that channel water from any available source (in my case a river) and distribute it via mini canals to acres and acres of farmland. These canals are always dirty, mosquito infested and most often serve as the community dump for all sorts of garbage and human wastes. If you are lucky enough (as I am) this sequia also serves as a place to bathe and wash clothes. An the really lucky ones (like me) also get to drink water that is siphoned off from the sequia. Oh the luck I have! For hours I could discuss the intricacies of sequias, how the are the center of life in my little town, how the availability of water to drink, cook with, or bathe in, depends on a sugar cane industry’s willingness to allow us access to the sequia, or how private farm land has been vacant due to the lack of water for the past 5 years. I will save these discussions for another day because the nature of this article is actually fairly positive (or if not positive at least comically sarcastic). Below I give you the top reasons why I have decided that despite everything, the sequia marks the best running routes.

10. Crops along the sequia (when they actually grow) provide the runner with shade otherwise unattainable in the desert. Sugarcane is an especially good provider of shade.
9. The dust that you will kick up (and that will inevitably stick to you the sweatier you get) will give you the appearance of having a beautiful sunkissed glow. Hint: Don’t tell people who comment on your new tan that it is really just dirt, they are generally repulsed.
8. During mango season there is always plenty of fruit you can pick during your run and take back for breakfast.
7. The garbage mixed with mud and dead animals that is occasionally drudged out of the sequia by employees of “La Empresa” is deposited along the sequia. The imaginative runner can pretend these pile are beautiful mountains or rolling hills.
6. If willing to get a bit dirty, said “beautiful mountains” or “rolling hills” can serve as challenges to the typically flat,0 altitude running route typically enjoyed in the desert. They can also serve as project idea for bored volunteers (ie garbage clean up day or a “what are we really drinking?” lecture)
5. They provide a quite, car free running route, which is particularly pleasant when the main bridge along the panamerican highway (due to poor government planning and coordination) is flooded and must be diverted through your site across a one lane bridge, thus increasing the amount of traffic along the one road through site by about 1000 times what it was designed to handle.
4. A quick run along the sequia will give you a fairly good estimate of the availability of water for drinking of bathing for that day. If the sequia is full you know that you will be able to bathe, if it is empty, you know you can look forward to a week without bathes or drinking water.
3. Animal life. Running along the sequia gives the runner a chance to enjoy the diverse bird and animal life in Peru. Unfortunately it also exposes the runner to Peru’s ugliest most obnoxious species, rude men. The mating call of this sadly prevalent species ranges from a series of hisses and whistles to the occasional “will you marry me” “oh yeah baby” “lets exersize”
Hint: there is a great 2 step method to dealing with this obnoxious species and their ridiculous mating calls. Step 1: Envision slapping, kicking, kneeing in the groin, or spitting on the offending animal. Step 2: Glare unflinchingly, without smiling and continue on your way. In particularly persistent cases sometimes it helps to mutter insults about how poorly educated and rude said animal is.
2. When not inundated with an overabundance of above mentioned rude men species, the sequia generally provide the route with the fewest encounters with curious onlookers who always feel the need to comment on that absurdity of someone running.
1. Protein, due to the garbage and often standing water there is an abundance of bugs willing to fly into any available orifice (mouth, nose, eyes, and ears being the most common but certainly not the only ones), thereby injecting you with a quick shot of vital proteins that your rice and potato diet has not provided you with.